I made a giant list of resolutions and goals for this year. I'm basically setting myself up for failure on many levels. This isn't typically how I approach the new year. I'm a realist in many ways, and I like to set myself up for success whenever possible. But I know that my comfort zone isn't the space I will grow in. It isn't the space where I will change lives, or where new things will happen, or where great discoveries will be made.
When I wrote this list, I included every little, and big, thing I could imagine doing in the next year and beyond, even when my inner voice was saying, "No, thats impossible." I won't share all the details of this great list because it isn't important. What is important is the overriding theme of this list, which is to...
"Respond to every call that excites your spirit." ~ Rumi
For so long, I have wondered what my true gifts are and how I can share them. My entire adult life (and some time before that) my mind has produced some incredible ideas and dreams, sparks of what could have become reality. But just as quickly as they materialize in my imagination, the inner dialogue of self sabotage, doubt, insecurities, and fear takes over. The sparks reduce to ashes, labeled as "silly dreams" not worth pursuing in the "real world."
Just recently, I have begun to see that these silly dreams are not silly at all. They aren't random ideas that I thought up on a whim. They are calling to me for a reason, to help me discover my gifts and how to share them. All I have to do is respond.
Just. Respond.
I don't have to see everything through to completion or success. I simply have to give it a chance to grow into something beyond a spark. And while I sincerely hope that at least some of my endeavors produce fruit, I am resting on the fact that sometimes our calls are simply there to help define our journey, to help decipher which paths are worth following and which paths are better left unexplored.
I will do everything I can this year to learn to really listen to my own heart and to face my fears with a brave face. As I have told each of my girls on their first day of school, "Bravery is being scared of something and doing it anyway." Now is my opportunity to show them those words in action.
You have no idea how much courage it takes to write these words and share them with you. Or maybe you do. Maybe you face the same challenges with fear. Maybe you hear a faint calling in your heart, but aren't sure what it means.
I would like to invite you to trust that what you feel is true and real and then, just respond.
Tell me, what calls to your heart?
